Palamuti by PJ Valenciano: Let's Talk About Love

For Valentine's Day, we will be attending the opening exhibit featuring Paola Germar's Art Cans in
Tin-Aw Gallery.

I have been struggling to find an angle to write something in theme with Valentine's day without sounding cheesy. Though I enjoy "cheesy-ness" from time-to-time, I wanted to write something more from the heart. I smile when I see people show affection to their significant other. Nowadays, with the rise of social media, everything is easy to share with just one click of a button. My feeds are a torrent of pre-valentine saccharine love quotes and photos, so-much-so that sometimes posts with bitterness and sarcasm pop-out as a reaction to all the sweetness, but it's all part of the freedom people exercise when sharing their thoughts about a trending topic online.

Love is the muse of desire, beauty and even despair.

I am a dreamer. I am a hopeless romantic. I love fairy tales and happy endings. I like watching romantic movies; shedding tears at the sad ones. I can give you a long list of "feel good romantic" movies. I never get tired of watching classic Disney films, which among my favourites includes The Beauty & The Beast. There was a point when I even memorised the movie's dialogue and lyrics of the songs. I'm not a bit embarrassed to admit that fact at all.

In my teenage years, I was sold with the concept of "Soul Mates", that someday our love for each other will be sealed by a "Magical Kiss". I believed, I've met my one true love in my dreams like Aurora when she bursts into a song "I know you, I've walked with you once a upon a dream." Love to me was all about the "man-of-my-dreams" with whom I'll spend the rest of my life with and who'll shower me with gifts of chocolates and roses or to treat me to a surprise dinner every year on Valentine's Day. This was how I was conditioned to view the concept of love, but as I grew older and formed relationships, "love" has become more meaningful beyond these concepts that my very imaginative mind have formed.

To love and be loved is a gift. It has inspired great writers and painters.

Unlike my romantic "heroines", I am not perfect. I do not have the perfect smile, hair nor the body. I am moody, impulsive, a bit eccentric and recluse in some days and have been heavily criticised for being so. I am driven and motivated to reach my goals which is branded as selfish by some. So as much as I wanted "all that love story", I was afraid. How can I have the man of my dreams, when I can't be the "ideal woman". Luckily, nine years ago, I met this guy. Let's just say, he's my Andrew Paxton, the character played by Ryan Reynolds from the film, The Proposal. :)

What I love most about him is his unending support for my art and passion. He believes in what I do that he empowers me to be my best. Every day he tells me to do my art and that my goal should be towards becoming a master. We may live in modern times and women have more access to opportunities than centuries ago, but we are still a patriarchal society. There are unspoken norms which are moulded in the fabric of every heterosexual relationship. Men are groomed to lead, women are expected to follow. So for me, it is rare to have a man who's willing to step back and let's you do your thing as a woman. He allows me to grow and does not expect for me to have my world revolving around him because being in relationship doesn't mean for you to lose yourself in each other. It's about celebrating each other's individuality and uniqueness.

We rarely take photos of us together. I grabbed this image from Flotsam and Jetsam Artist Hotel photo album documenting their Jetsam Jam 2015, Music Festival.
Photography: Joncy Sumulong

Being in a steady relationship for about a decade, we have passed our days of courting, but getting to know each other is still a continuous process. Love is accepting. I’m not perfect and so is he, and as the years pass we learn to love each other despite the imperfections and we celebrate the “love” no longer just through grand gestures but through simple acts of kindness such as simple "thank yous", making each other's favourite drink, a day spent together walking our dogs, his words of encouragement. I've found a boyfriend, a friend and a partner for life.

Life is about relationships and we should celebrate those relationships as we live day-to-day. Single or attached, Saint Valentine's day is a reminder that we should do acts of love as part of our lives.

P.S. Ending this blogpost with an awesome and kick ass outfit I created on Polyvore. :)